Many women now face the problem of alcoholism in the family. "My husband drinks every day, what to do? ", "My husband has been drinking for 10 days, what to do? " - these questions have been heard more and more recently. Of course, the spouse is an alcoholic - that's scary. And drunk alcoholism, if left unaddressed, is generally capable of turning life into eternal torture. But here you must always remember that alcoholism is a disease and not a personal choice of a particular person. A sick person undoubtedly needs the support of loved ones, especially when he is unable to deal with the problem alone. But, as a rule, when the husband drinks, the wife suffers first. And in such moments the question often arises: what to do when the husband went on a spree? There are few ways to get out of this situation: leave him and get a divorce, or try to fight for your life and help your loved one. Although we can confidently say that this fight will not be easy. But the decision here must be made by the woman herself, no advice from a psychologist will help. Only she herself can decide what she wants and what she can do to achieve her goal.
Difficult decision
Divorce is the simplest and easiest solution. Thus, a woman seems to be relieving herself of responsibility for a man's future fate. But in this case, you should adhere to a certain behavior. The main thing here: if you decide to leave, leave. Whatever the persuasion or pleading, it is important to know that the promises of an alcoholic cannot be trusted. He will do everything to convince his wife: she bursts into tears, gives gifts, falls to her knees. If that doesn't work, she could resort to violence or blackmail. Therefore, you should not follow her example, because by believing it once, you can provoke the repeated repetition of such concerts. And they can last longer than a week and even more than a month. The advice of a psychologist in this case is unequivocal: you need to make a firm decision, clearly pass it on to your husband, do not trust promises and do not give in to pity. We must always remember that no matter how bad the husband is, the wife will be doubly worse.
If the choice is made in the direction of fighting and helping the closest person, then the woman will have to be patient. The most important thing in this case is to understand why the husband started drinking and then delve into the solution of this problem. Today, there are many ways to wean a person from drinking alcohol.
First of all, you need to learn how to behave correctly. If the spouse has started drinking more often and is periodically binging, you can try to change tactics. After all, he is sure that upon returning home she will encounter another scandal with tears and broken dishes. Or maybe he will be greeted by a dead silence and icy contempt? In any case, we must try to change: become more affectionate, surround him with attention and care, try to open up to him other joys in life, in addition to drinking alcohol. Often this behavior confuses men and therefore it is much easier to deal with them. At the very least, you will protect yourself and your children from unwarranted aggression and save your nerves.
Second, you must try to protect the faithful from his drinking friends. Indeed, very often a man drinks vodka for company or for solitude. When they binge drink, men have very low self-esteem. It seems to them that they are no longer needed by anyone and are not suitable for anything. Try to prove how wrong he is:
- to show that he is the head of the family, his hope and support, and that without his participation everything can collapse;
- focus his attention on children who find it psychologically difficult to live with a drinking father;
- to fascinate him with new interests and hobbies.
Codependency
It may be that a woman is unable to leave her alcoholic husband. There could be many reasons for this, but nevertheless she needs to understand how to keep living.
There is such a thing as codependency, when a woman, willy-nilly, falls into social or physical dependence on her husband, trying to get him out of the hole and give him back to the family. This usually happens when a woman has a strong emotional attachment to her significant other than her. Only an experienced psychologist can help here.
There are clear signs by which the presence of codependency can be judged:
- the woman takes responsibility for her husband's health, mood and well-being;
- she tries to please her husband by doing all the work for him;
- she feels the need to help her husband with her problems, in general to solve problems for him;
- justifies the inappropriate behavior of the spouse in front of others;
- she feels guilty about what happened to her husband;
- she closes her eyes to the problem, believing that anything you don't do is for the best;
- she falls into the same addiction to alcohol, not having the strength to resist;
- she considers herself a victim who pays for past sins;
- physically or emotionally related to the spouse.
What to do for a wife when a husband is bingeing
There are many reasons why men binge for a long time. Here are the main ones:
- not wanting to resist addiction;
- family conflicts;
- inability to cope with stress.
Everyone knows that alcohol causes a feeling of euphoria, thus developing one of the strongest addictions in a person, which they may not have the desire to overcome. Weak mindset and willpower can also be one of the reasons for drinking a lot. And if the stressful situation at home or at work is of a long-term nature, then a person can drink almost every day.
Denial of alcoholism is a problem for all alcoholics. You can constantly hear all sorts of excuses, like, "Yes, I'm an alcoholic and I like it! " Or "I don't drink for no reason. "The drinker never admits that he is prone to addiction, he seems to be able to stop drinking whenever he wants. But in fact, everything ends with another binge, after which the reassurances of oneself and of everyone around begin again in their firmness of character.
What to do in such a situation is not difficult to understand - to deal unambiguously. But it's worth understanding what a wife should definitely not do. It's not worth it:
- seek excuses for her alcoholism;
- hide the problem, dressing it with a needle, trying to prove that it is not what it is;
- justify the husband in front of colleagues or bosses for the fact that she is not working or is systematically late;
- drink with your spouse so that he gets less;
- give a drink at home, as long as he does not drink on the street;
- wash and clean after him the consequences of his alcoholic intoxication;
- buy alcohol;
- blackmail with sexual intercourse;
- threaten with divorce;
- treats her husband secretly from him.
There are several ways that can help get a person out of his binge state:
- medicamentous solution;
- folk remedies;
- psychological assistance and rehabilitation program;
- prayer or conspiracy against alcoholism.
light binge
With such an early stage of alcohol addiction, you can try to get by with folk methods of getting rid of the binge. It is also good that the treatment can be done at home. The very first thing to do is to get the patient to sleep and then continue to rest in bed. It is recommended to drink plenty of fluids to restore the water-salt balance in the body. In this case, various fruit drinks, herbal infusions and decoctions are suitable. You can also take a contrast shower, herbal baths, massages and other procedures aimed at improving and restoring the body. It is not worthwhile to resort to the help of medical intervention without consulting a specialist, otherwise unexpected complications can be caused.
Drink heavily
When the binge lasts longer than three days, you will most likely need the help of a narcologist. A specialist can be called home. He will correctly assess the patient's condition and prescribe the medications that need to be taken, carefully following the doctor's instructions.
Most often, to relieve withdrawal symptoms, the home doctor puts an IV drip, which helps cleanse the blood of alcoholic toxins and breakdown products of ethanol. It also often contains restorative and sedative ingredients. The fact is that a person who drinks very often becomes aggressive, panics or experiences inexplicable fears.
To calm him down and restore the nervous system after a binge, the doctor may recommend classes with a psychologist and prescribe psychotropic medications.
heavy binge
A heavy binge usually lasts a week or more. If the situation is practically out of control or the person drinking has a history of chronic diseases, then only the patient's hospitalization in a narcological or toxicological clinic can help in this case. Treatment in the hospital will help prevent the possible unpleasant consequences of a heavy binge, which can manifest itself in the form of "delirium tremens" or alcoholic psychosis. In this state, the patient is unable to control himself and can commit aggressive actions aimed at any member of the family, finding himself in a state of imbalance. Of course, it is advisable not to take it this far, but if suddenly the withdrawal syndrome is very difficult, treatment with herbs or prayers is indispensable. You must go to a narcological hospital as soon as possible, otherwise you can cause serious damage to your health, up to and including death.
conclusions
When a husband is an alcoholic, this is a terrible pain for those close to him. They worry and suffer, even more than the patient himself. Sometimes life becomes so unbearable that you have to make a choice: to support your family or your health. Seldom is a woman able to end a once happy family life, especially if there are children who still love dad. All she has to do is get her beloved one out of this terrible trap. However, it is very difficult to do it yourself and, in fact, it is not necessary. In this case, one cannot do without help and psychological support. The advice of an experienced specialist will tell you how to behave correctly and what to do to get your husband out of the spree and bring him back to a normal life. It remains only to stock up on great patience and in no case despair, because despair can lead to rash actions, which you can then sincerely regret.